Emotional Alchemy

Photo by Caz Tanner

I see the light because I'm intimately aware of the darkness. I have climbed up from depths that I thought I'd never escape. A few times. ⁠

I often get comments like "You're always smiling" or "How are you so happy all the time?" First of all, I'm not- I'm probably just happy to see you;) Secondly, I am actually pretty happy. And I can be so happy because I was so sad- ranging from desperate despair to apathetic disdain of being alive... lots of flavors of sadness. Yumm. lol. ⁠

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I'm kinda mad about it, but I've come to accept that the lowest moments are the most potent for alchemy. The minutes, days, weeks, months, that you honestly don't care to experience are the exact ones that you MUST experience. You're becoming a warrior just by going through it. ⁠

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The ONLY thing that you must do in those moments is be open to the possibility of not feeling terrible forever. That is literally it. Just hypothetically open to the fact that the chemicals bumming you out might just cycle out eventually on their own and you won't feel so terrible even if circumstances remain the same. Be open to a miracle. (For some, that miracle is medication). ⁠

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Once the negative momentum subsides - do as much as you can to build the momentum of the positive. ⁠

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What does that look like practically? In my case, I like to simmer in the good stuff for as long as possible. Music & nature are my biggies. I'll literally stare at one cloud for 30 minutes. I follow squirrels to see what they're doin. Eating things the earth made and absolutely not taking that for granted. ⁠

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Just getting lost in the magic in the world happening all the time is a beautiful way to passively surrender your sadness to the earth. Let your ego-identity dissolve in the everyday miracles that lovingly surround you. ⁠

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As Abraham Hicks says, "There is great love here for you."

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Choosing to Write a Song

Photo by Nicole Glass

In my ideal world, I would write a song everyday. If I had no obligations, I would write a song everyday. So apparently in my ideal world I have no obligations… Yes, that definitely checks out. 

It’s hard to describe the mental state I need to be in in order to write a song. Most often I wait until it happens to me, but earlier this week, I decided to make it happen. I decided to spruce up the description of the Facebook event for my “farewell Stockholm syndrome tour” to include a promise of a brand new song about my imminent departure. 

I normally don’t do this- I hate fulfilling expectations, even my own (why am I like this??). But this time, it felt correct for me. I wanted to publicly declare my intention of writing a song, and in a way use the imagination of others to create a reality that I preferred. If more people expect me to write a song, I feel like that somehow helps the eventuality occur where I do write a song. 

I think the crucial distinction here of why this didn’t backfire was that I wasn’t using the public declaration as a way of forcefully overriding the resistance. There was no resistance. I was in total alignment with the intention and felt totally casual about it- actually no pressure. So, in retrospect, the conditions were good. Look at me! 

I feel like I finally found the key I’ve been searching for my whole life! I have inspiration on tap now- it’s like MAGIC!!

Tell me about your experiences with the inspiration tap and choosing to be creative!

Make sure to listen to episode 5 of the Self-Help Songwriter Podcast if you like hearing about the songwriting process. The other episodes too :D And let me know in a comment on Youtube or Instagram if you want me to share the song I’m referring to!