Something that’s always frustrated me about being an artist is the absolute unpredictability of it all. It’s so contrary to the nature of the artist- who has vision of worlds beyond - to surrender control and let it happen TO YOU. The creator wants to create. We want to see what is inside our head, be outside our head for others to behold.

But sometimes the whole process feels like some external force is pulling the strings.

Quite often for me, the creative process feels more like translating than creating. I’ve always said that I don’t write songs, I just write songs down. Don’t get me wrong this process is absolutely exhilarating - it feels just incredible physically. Leya Van Doren and I discuss this on her podcast, The Creative Soul, that just came out this week where I admit that seriously I just wish I could bottle that chemical cocktail that comes with inspiration.

Unfortunately, there is the other side of the coin- when the river of inspiration runs dry. And it seems to come out of nowhere.

For example, on my 29th birthday I wrote 3 incredible verses. They flowed out of me. They felt strong and important. It felt incredible and I stood in awe of the words and song that just appeared to me.

But then it appeared that they had just …. stopped there. The tap ran dry. It feels like running into a wall over and over again. Pointless and painful. The only choice is to drop it. Walk away. Let it go.

This may be the hardest part of the creative process, if it’s required. If you’re lucky, it isn’t. I have some lucky friends, but I’m quite sure they’re the minority. For most of us, however, we MUST learn to make the choice to disengage with our work. We must unhook ourselves.

So, what happened to that song? About a week after my 30th birthday, the chorus came to me in a blissful moment in the sunshine by the water. It felt like the song itself spoke to me. It found me again. Hello old friend. I was hoping I’d hear from you!

And now, I’m taking my time in recording it. I’m letting it age like a fine wine. I’m letting it reveal itself to me in good time. One day in the studio with the band. Then I waited months before the next day in the studio to add harmonies, banjo, and mandolin with one of my best friends. The next step is one last day in the studio for an instrument I haven’t decided on yet. Or rather, it hasn’t been in touch to let me know yet.

Another venture that evoked more resistance than I expected is my blog and e-mail newsletter. I found a flow with the blog until I began really working on releasing the podcast. As for the newsletter, I love to write and to connect with people but there was no flow in a form of communication that I hadn’t used yet. I had to make the flow. This was not a job for the muse. This was more mechanics.

I finally conquered it last month when I sent my first newsletter off. Sign up for my monthly newsletter to see how I continue to do… ;)

How lovely and lucky it is when we find something, anything to help us feel better. Whether it’s your morning smoothie, meditation, or exercise, there are endless things to try in our attempt and in our stubborn mission to find and keep peace of mind aka happiness. There are tools and exercises we can do that make it easier for our brain to create those happy chemicals. So why not do them? Right?

The thing is, humans are cyclical and constantly changing and to some of us a lack of consistency tells us we are bad or somehow inferior. We are letting ourselves down by not doing the very things we KNOW make us feel better. This whole thought process only adds to the pain.

Can we all promise ourselves NOW that if we aren’t perfectly consistent, we will let it be okay? Let’s promise to allow ourselves to stray from our routines, and then thoughtfully and patiently guide ourselves back to our centering practices.

I’ve been becoming much more graceful in my transition back into routine and have been shedding the self-blame and negative mental chatter. Let me tell ya it feels REALLY good. For a long time I would be so hard on myself on days when I didn’t meditate twice (hey, TM!) and also walk 10k steps and also journal and also eat perfectly and also answer all my emails…. Like, RELAX, past me! It seemed like all the healthy things I was doing had an equally unhealthy component of internal shame and stress when I fell short.

I just catch myself more and more, quicker and quicker, so now I can just enjoy my life whether I’ve meditated that day or not! I’ve removed the qualifications a day has to meet in order to be “good”. I feel like I discovered a big secret to life here - collect as many selfhelp tools as you can and then NEVER feel guilty for not using them.

What’s your favorite selfhelp tool? Have you ever felt guilty for skipping it?

Be in touch!

The Artist is Anxiously Attached to the Muse

Skipping the Line