songwriter — Blog — Hanna Francis

I often say that when you write songs to start with what's true; and being your own friend is essential to living in your truth. As a songwriter, it's especially important to be your own friend because our songs are a reflection of our innermost thoughts and feelings. However, many of us have learned from a young age to give up our own perceptions in order to make life easier for those around us. We don't want to be a bother and we want to coexist with the people we love or are supposed to love us.

The problem with this is that when we don't listen to our own intuition and perceptions, we become a walking lie. We let others cast us in roles based on their own projections, shame, and trauma. We join them and become an enemy to ourselves. This is not only damaging to our mental health, but it also affects our songwriting. Our songs become meaningless because they are not based on truth.

So how do we become our own friend? Here are 10 tips for being your own friend in life and songwriting:

Listen to your intuition: Your intuition is your internal compass. It's important to listen to it and trust it.
Speak kindly to yourself: Treat yourself like you would treat a good friend.
Set boundaries: It's okay to say no and set boundaries to protect your mental health.
Practice self-care: Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Celebrate your successes: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small.
Forgive yourself: We all make mistakes. It's important to forgive yourself and move on.
Be present: Stay in the present moment and enjoy life as it happens.
Practice gratitude: Focus on what you have and what you are grateful for.
Trust yourself: Trust your instincts and decisions.
Surround yourself with positivity: Surround yourself with people who lift you up and support you.

When you are your own friend, you are living in your truth. This truth is a frequency that we must tap into as songwriters. When we confront the truth, no matter how paradoxical, confusing, or disappointing it may be, our songs become more meaningful and powerful. So start being your own friend and watch your songwriting soar to new heights.

Listen to the Self-Help Songwriter podcast where I riff on this further here

One of my favorite quotes comes from Robert Plant: "The whole idea of music from the beginning of time, was for people to be happy." ⁠God I love him so much. You can feel his joy when he performs too. It’s so powerful. I’m getting off track…

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The whole idea of a lot of things is for people to be happy, but the experience of music is uniquely moving. I think it even has the power to illuminate previously unknown parts of yourself, make you feel more connected, reframe negative events, and even to transform your perspective.

Songs have helped me realize:

It’s okay to feel fucked up
I’m not alone
It’s safe to trust positive experiences
True love doesn’t require people to change
Your attitude shapes your experience
We have more time than we feel like we do
To everything there is a season
Turn, turn, turn

The list goes on…

Basically, songs have taught me the secret to happiness and the meaning of life. And I haven’t even started with the songs that I wrote, each of them reveal me to myself and turn what I’ve lived into what I’ve learned.

I've always found that meaning is further deepened by conscious acknowledgment. ⁠To really relish and notice what is happening and to name it. That gives it an even deeper power in your life so I try to do that with every positive aspect.

So this post - and in fact my whole focus of everything I’m doing basically - is a conscious acknowledgment of the self-help role of music and songwriting in my life and in all our lives.

If there is one song in particular that has helped you or meant a lot, I’d love to know about it! Send it to me with your story at selfhelpsongwriter@gmail.com or send me a DM on instagram @selfhelpsongwriter

How being your own friend is the key to being a good songwriter

My Motivation