I often say that when you write songs to start with what's true; and being your own friend is essential to living in your truth. As a songwriter, it's especially important to be your own friend because our songs are a reflection of our innermost thoughts and feelings. However, many of us have learned from a young age to give up our own perceptions in order to make life easier for those around us. We don't want to be a bother and we want to coexist with the people we love or are supposed to love us.
The problem with this is that when we don't listen to our own intuition and perceptions, we become a walking lie. We let others cast us in roles based on their own projections, shame, and trauma. We join them and become an enemy to ourselves. This is not only damaging to our mental health, but it also affects our songwriting. Our songs become meaningless because they are not based on truth.
So how do we become our own friend? Here are 10 tips for being your own friend in life and songwriting:
Listen to your intuition: Your intuition is your internal compass. It's important to listen to it and trust it.
Speak kindly to yourself: Treat yourself like you would treat a good friend.
Set boundaries: It's okay to say no and set boundaries to protect your mental health.
Practice self-care: Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Celebrate your successes: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small.
Forgive yourself: We all make mistakes. It's important to forgive yourself and move on.
Be present: Stay in the present moment and enjoy life as it happens.
Practice gratitude: Focus on what you have and what you are grateful for.
Trust yourself: Trust your instincts and decisions.
Surround yourself with positivity: Surround yourself with people who lift you up and support you.
When you are your own friend, you are living in your truth. This truth is a frequency that we must tap into as songwriters. When we confront the truth, no matter how paradoxical, confusing, or disappointing it may be, our songs become more meaningful and powerful. So start being your own friend and watch your songwriting soar to new heights.
Listen to the Self-Help Songwriter podcast where I riff on this further here
