The lessons we can learn from writing a song about 'it'.

My heartbreak song is still one of my greatest teachers.

The lessons that the heartbreak alchemized into continue to light the way for me, even when I’m in the dark. 

The structure is totally different from any of my other songs. It’s not how I structure my songs when I am writing a song on purpose (normally).

I usually follow the structure: verse 1, verse 2, chorus, verse 3/bridge, chorus again. In this song, you’ll notice, has zero verses. The structure goes: intro, pre-chorus, chorus, bridge, pre-chorus and chorus again. 

This song could also be called, “I once loved a Swede.” The song starts out with just explaining the situation. I am coming to terms with the situation of having a totally content, happy even, man that feels totally apathetic towards me. It sets up the personalities of the story. A square peg and a paisley (or whatever) hole. 

I knew the love I felt was not reciprocated and I needed to make it okay. 

That’s what songwriting has the power to do: make it okay. It can make anything okay.

We know this already.

But, the OTHER power of songwriting, it can reveal something you didn’t know before. That’s what happened here. I not only resolved and made my sorrow beautiful, I also was able to receive some very relieving wisdom that was buried in the situation. It was able to naturally emerge. 

It is something that I still TO THIS DAY have a hard time with: trusting while in the unknown. Staying confident in the magical dark. 

I’m going deeper into this topic on this week’s new podcast episode. Join the conversation.

Do these lyrics bring you comfort? What songs or specific lyrics help you lean into trust? I need more of them! 

LYRICS

Intro:

“He’s a good company man, never alone, so he never understands that he’s running in a hamster wheel.

and I bet, that in five years time he’ll be doing just fine. And he’ll still be running around

not thinking, not wanting more. Cause why want more when you don’t know what you’re looking for.

Why want more when you never tried anything new your whole life through.”

Pre-chorus:

“My baby don’t love me and my baby won’t try. My baby he never wonders why, but my baby won’t leave me and my baby ain’t sad.  But no baby it doesn’t make me mad.”

Chorus:

“Because the light of love is in my heart. Because it doesn’t make you weaker

to trust your fate when you’re in the dark. If everything I learned from you is true

oh, I might love you, but my love is too good for you.”

Bridge:

“But please believe that i still see, all the things that made me love you to begin with

what did I get in with.”

Songwriting is a form of self-help, here's why...

It’s EXHILARATING to finish a song that represents a time in your life where you were looking for a resolution!

There’s no better feeling than tying a beautiful bow on an emotional experience.

There are two reasons for that…

1. It makes the journey feel complete which gives a sense of calm and closure.

2. It allows you to help others find the resolution quicker, making your suffering not in vain. 

It’s a rare thing in life to have one’s experiences neatly wrapped up.

Perhaps art is the only thing able to do that.

What’s so special about music is that it speaks not only to our conscious mind but also to our bodies and subconscious.

When we combine the two, the result is so powerful and therapeutic.

Often when writing a song, the words will suggest a melody. Then, when I run out of words, that melody will suggest more words. It’s a beautiful dance and at its best it feels like the song is writing itself. 

I know the song is complete when it feels like it doesn’t need to go anywhere else. It went wherever it needed to go. And then you feel the ultimate relief. You’ve completed the experience within yourself. 

And now you can share that shimmering example of emotional processing and the resulting relief in an enjoyable way for others which will ultimately ease and heal hearts. 

My favorite example of this is my Heartbreak song, which I will break down for you all next week as an example structure you can follow when trying to resolve your own stuff in this way. 

Spending time trying to resolve your emotions through songwriting is something that I highly recommend. Be open to surprising yourself.

If you want me to literally walk you through the process, join me for the Blooming Soul Song workshop on 4/4.