Skipping the Line

photo by Nicole Glass

How lovely and lucky it is when we find something, anything to help us feel better. Whether it’s your morning smoothie, meditation, or exercise, there are endless things to try in our attempt and in our stubborn mission to find and keep peace of mind aka happiness. There are tools and exercises we can do that make it easier for our brain to create those happy chemicals. So why not do them? Right?

The thing is, humans are cyclical and constantly changing and to some of us a lack of consistency tells us we are bad or somehow inferior. We are letting ourselves down by not doing the very things we KNOW make us feel better. This whole thought process only adds to the pain.

Can we all promise ourselves NOW that if we aren’t perfectly consistent, we will let it be okay? Let’s promise to allow ourselves to stray from our routines, and then thoughtfully and patiently guide ourselves back to our centering practices. 

I’ve been becoming much more graceful in my transition back into routine and have been shedding the self-blame and negative mental chatter. Let me tell ya it feels REALLY good. For a long time I would be so hard on myself on days when I didn’t meditate twice (hey, TM!) and also walk 10k steps and also journal and also eat perfectly and also answer all my emails…. Like, RELAX, past me! It seemed like all the healthy things I was doing had an equally unhealthy component of internal shame and stress when I fell short. 

I just catch myself more and more, quicker and quicker, so now I can just enjoy my life whether I’ve meditated that day or not! I’ve removed the qualifications a day has to meet in order to be “good”. I feel like I discovered a big secret to life here - collect as many selfhelp tools as you can and then NEVER feel guilty for not using them. 

What’s your favorite selfhelp tool? Have you ever felt guilty for skipping it?

Be in touch!

Regret Not

Visiting my mom in Paris the other week, our long-awaited post covid reunion! We strolled around Paris as you do for a whole week. On a Sunday evening on the banks of the Seine, we happened upon an Irish band. 

I was SO excited I had finally found a group of people playing music, and better still IRISH music, for the first time since before the pandemic. To add to the romance, they sat right across from the Notre Dame on the left bank. My heart just fills with excitement every time I hear Irish folk music! 

My feet inevitably got a dancing itch. My toes wiggled in my shoes. The energy was growing! I really miss dancing, it has been years since I performed with my group Saoirse Irish Dance Company. 

Of course I imagined an alternate reality where I would confidently walk up and begin a glorious performance. In that reality, I’d have recently practiced, be about 20 pounds lighter, and they’d be playing faster so that my muscle memory could friggin kick in. But in the actual reality happening in front of my physical eyes, I hadn’t practiced in I don’t know how long, I felt heavy, and they were playing just slow enough to not trigger my muscle memory of the choreographies. 

So, if I wanted to dance, I had to do it knowing that I would have to improvise the whole thing while being extremely out of dancing shape. Plus, I did not know these guys and there were strangers all around. Who knows how people would react and judge me. It’s easy to think of the worst possible reaction that is just so statistically unlikely. Reality is often more optimistic than we tend to give it credit for. 

It boiled down to this:  I had to make it simple for myself, so I turned to my trusty decider question: “Will I regret not doing this?”

The answer was an undeniable YES! 

Despite my heavily beating heart and absolute panicked feeling, I turned to my mom and said “hold my purse.” 

I (seemingly) confidently walked up in front of the band, turned to face them, and started my little made-up reel. The eyes above the masks lit up! It made me soo happy to have received a positive response. My anxiety was put to rest and I fully enjoyed the dance. It’s probably my favorite memory from the trip.

I tell this little story to encourage you, the next time you feel extreme hesitation to do something potentially fun, ask yourself: would I regret not doing this?